Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Like Looking In a Mirror

Sadly the above picture very nearly captures the essence of the Squid and Maynard friendship through high school and into college. I would be Butt-head (the braces and the big nose and the poofy hair were all me circa 1986). Squid is Beavis, and the cigarette, pissy look and moments of confusion and random violence were all he circa 1986 (though squid was slightly smarter than Beavis to be fair).

The similarities insofar as Squid relates to Beavis were amazing. And while Squid did not do things as potentially stupid or as life-threatening...there are still strong resemblances.

Consider the following video and read the "liner notes" below for a list of Squid/Beavis parallels (heretofore called SB's):

SB 1 @0:28: Squid was a fascinating creature for kids and animals. This was especially true of toddlers who literally crawled all over him like a jungle gym. And in truth, Squid did speak ther language.

SB2 @1:05: I freely admit I embarrassed my fair share of classmates by poking fun at their appearance deficits (she has no ass, etc). But Squid could be downright ruthless, especially to the 6 to 10 crowd. Just as Beavis destroys Stewart's reputation, Squid likely did the same on at least two occassions of memorable note. One was when he told some young kid to stop playing around the enormous bags of dogfood, for if he didn't the bags would fall and crush the kid and then Squid would get all his x-mas presents. The second was his short but vigorous argument with an 8 year old who loved the ninja turtles. Squid, like a true sophist, informed this poor kid that turtles exposed to toxic waste die rather than turn into mutants. Classic!

SB3 @1:35: Some oif Squid's best moments involved standing up...sometimes twice in a row.

SB4 @2:10: That is definitely how I fix toilets and while squid never hit me with a shovel he did try to satb me with a samurai sword one night.

SB5 @ 3:00: Squid was easily distracted by moving power meters but never had trouble throwing up...ever.

SB6 @ 4:00: Money and chicks, and beer and cigarettes were always on our list of wants and needs as they were so hard to come by...especially chicks.

SB7 @ 4:30: Squid's reaction could be impaired and sadly, his cranium did take a lot of abuse from blunt force trauma (such as headbutting lcokers and getting bonked by grocery totes).

SB8 @ 5:40: Squid always wore shades.

SB9 @ 6:00: The best part of homework was not doing it...yet somehow squid graduated high school early.

SB10 @ 6:30: While we rarely played ding dong ditch, urinating on a front porch was not beyond our sense of good etiquette.

SB11@ 7:50: Squid, while at times a model employee as a bag boy, did, on several occasions, find himself under interrogation by The Man, answering such questions as, "Do you know who threw that snowball off the store roof at customers?" Or, "Who left all those beer bottles in the parking lot last night?".

SB12 @ 10:00: Squid was spot on making fun of our principal...and virtually all figures of authority in our school.

1 comment:

Old said...

Little did you know at the time that that poor kid would grow up to be Mike Judge.