Monday, December 31, 2007

Some web sites for the New Year

Box Office Mojo
Box Office Mojo has information about box-office stats past, present, and future. The site gives a rundown of the movie as well as its performance at the box office.

Comic Book Resources
Get your sticky fingers on the keyboard and go to Comic Book Resources, a site that can give you all the info on your favorite spandex-wearing crimefighters and other freaks of nature. And since it's on the Internet, you don't even have to leave your mom's basement!

Cute Overload
They haven't done any serious scientific studies yet, but it might actually be possible for this site to make you die of cuteness. Cute Overload has your daily dose of adorable widdle puppies, kitties, duckies, and more. (Can a squid be cute? You'll have to judge for yourself.) It might just be the only thing to get you through those rough workdays—or the final annoying straw that sends your fist through your monitor.

Websites as Graphs
Insert the URL of your favorite Web site and this nifty little applet spits out a visual representation, with different colored dots representing the Web site's various tags and links. It's not the most useful Web site around, but it sure does make some pretty conversation pieces for your cubicle.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Vernon Shreds the Solo

Hot and Sexy or Sick and Twisted

The image above is a shot of Penelope Cruz and sister Monica Cruz kissing. It comes from the premier of their brother's first rock single entitled "(*something in Spanish)". The story goes that the Cruz sisters work as translators for lesbian porn films, dubbing the French or Italian into Spanish for horny old men. Their brother Eduardo gets the porn soundtrack job and comes into the studio to cut the title track which shockingly is NOT bow-chicka-wow-wow.

Long story short, the Cruz sisters get so hot over their brother, their brother's song, or the lesbian porn that they start making out. The video is below if you dare:

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Japanese Game Show Challenge

Alright ya'll. Time to vote for your choice of what is the best of the worst in Japanese game shows. The entries are:

Andy and his Cats Dragging Fish into the Woods <--- Click It

Neecie and herDance Dance Revolution
<--- Click It

Jen and her Human Tetris <--- Click It

Maynard and Plushie Rugby <--- Click It

Check Below for the your chance to vote for your favorite.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

An Open Challenge to Trixie, Andy, Andi, Deuce, and AnntQuitty

Round Two of the Crazy Japanese Game show challenge. I DARE you to find and post a better example of the oddity that is Japanese game shows. When it's all said and done, we'll have a vote for the winner. Beat this!

Get Bendered

Yet Again, Japanese Wrestling Kicks Ass

Bill O'Reilly and his War On Christmas Nonsense Might Need Look Hard at Christian's and Their War on Christmas

CHARLESTON, W.Va. - As Christmas draws near, Pastor John Foster won't be decorating a tree, shopping for last-minute gifts or working on a holiday sermon for his flock. After all, it's been 50 years since Christmas was anything more than a day of the week to him.

He's one of very few American Christians who follow what used to be the norm in many Protestant denominations--rejecting the celebration of Christmas on religious grounds.

"People don't think of it this way, but it's really a secular holiday," said Foster, a Princeton-based pastor in the United Church of God. He last celebrated Christmas when he was 8.

His church's objection to Christmas is rare among U.S. Christians. Gallup polls from 1994 to 2005 consistently show that more than 90 percent of adults say they celebrate Christmas, including 84 percent of non-Christians.

That's a huge change from an earlier era, when many Protestants ignored or actively opposed the holiday. But as it gradually became popular as a family celebration, churches followed their members in making peace with Christmas.

The change didn't happen overnight. Through much of the 19th century, schools and businesses remained open, Congress met in session and some churches closed their doors, lest errant worshippers try to furtively commemorate the day.

Christmas benefited from a 19th century "domestication of religion," said University of Texas history professor Penne Restad, in which faith and family were intertwined in a complementary set of values and beliefs.

Christmas became acceptable as a family-centered holiday, Restad said, once it lost its overtly religious significance.

At the same time, aspects of the holiday like decorated trees and gift-giving became status symbols for an aspirant middle class. When Christmas began its march toward dominance among holidays, it was because of a change in the culture, not theology.

On the Second Day of Christmas...

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Monday, December 10, 2007

Ladies...For Your Educational Growth


Cleveland Has Some Hubba Hubba Browns Fans

How Ya Feeling, Pittsburgh?

Well, Steeler defensive back Anthony Smith talked a lotta shit this week, guaranteeing a Steeler victory over God's Team: The Patriots. Well, after a thorough ass-kicking, this is for you Anthony Smith.

Anthony Smith: Douchebag

However, as Maynard always tempers pain with a little medicine, and as I am sure that game last night took five years off of Coach's life, I give you this...a Steeler fan who is quite attractive...probably the only attractive fan they have.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Best Police Blotter Since Lando Calrissian was Arrested in Florida

Police ID 2 killed in Greensboro
Monday, Dec. 3, 2007 11:30 am

GREENSBORO -- Police today identified the two men killed in a shooting early Sunday at 1600 W. Lee St.The victims were Born God Supreme Thompson, 26, and Shuntae Lamont Watson, 26, police stated in a news release. The case remains under investigation; no suspect information has been released. On Sunday about 1:30 a.m., officers responded to Jabs Ultra Bar at 1600 W. Lee St. regarding shots fired. They found two gunshot victims outside the back of the club. Both died at the hospital.The two deaths were among four homicides that occurred this weekend in Greensboro.Police ask people with information regarding the shootings to call 373-2255 or Crime Stoppers at 373-1000.

How Is Amy Winehouse Still Alive?

Maynard Says: Jesus, what the hell happened to you?!?!?!

Which Will You See First?

Start Saving Today Squid

Celebrity trainwreck Tara Reid has fallen so low that she's taking bookings to appear at other people's parties. Thus, for a paltry $3500, she too could haunt the Squid casa. And, with enough drugs and booze to kill an entire platoon of United States Marines, Tara might get crazy enough to just do him.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Squid Gets His Annual Work Evaluation

Her Karate is Very Strong

Pink Floyd Paradigm -- 15 Seconds of Intermittent Genius

Take a listen to the guitar solo from Comfortably Numb. Two solos will play with the second starting 15 seconds after the first. The ability to sync in this fashion is just damn awesome.

Click Here

You See Jen! Proof!!

10 Minutes Of Staring at Boobs Daily Prolongs Man's Life by 5 Years
By: Stefan Anitei, Science Editor

Listen, guys, now we know why Pamela Anderson made her transplants: to make us healthier. "Angels of mercy" like Jordan just prolong our life and Hugh Hefner knows it.

A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years.

"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out," said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist.

The team led by Weatherby was made up of researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, and found this results after monitoring for 5 years the health of 200 male subjects, half of whom were asked to look at busty females daily, while the other half had to abstain from doing so.

For five years, the boob oglers presented a lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and decreased risk of coronary artery disease.

"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There's no question: Gazing at large breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half." said Weatherby, who even recommended that men aged over 40 should spend at least 10 minutes daily admiring breasts sized "D-cup" or larger.

She said that this was as healthy as going to the gym for 30 minutes daily and prolonged a man's life by five years.

"We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years." said Weatherby.

This is indeed a very serious reason for men to enjoy without shame those midnight TV shows, download low-budget women-in-prison movies and collect such instructive and health beneficial magazines like Playboy and Hustler.


Maynard Says: See! Definitive Proof. Thus, to help all men worldwide, I provide the following image for your good health. And hands above the table please.