Monday, May 19, 2008

All is DOOM: How Doomtopia Brought Cybernations to a Screeching Halt

As some of my loyal readers know, I have been playing Cybernations for about a year and half. My nation, Doomtopia, was the pacesetter of the Legion of Doom. After some invites, I was able to get a whole horde of Dooms to join me.

* North Doomtopia (Scott)
* Doom Ryu (Joel)
* Outer Ring Doomtopia (Skippy)
* Doom-Mart (Andrew)
* DoomLordCypher (Some Guy)

Well, after many weeks of playing we all got invited to join the Order of the Sword (OTS). We all went but some didn't like it. In fact when it was all over, only myself and Cypher were still members.

About a month ago, the OTS became the Tenth Legion (Legio X). Two weeks into this my father passed and I was largely inactive and not aware of the shit storm of a war that was coming. I had heard grumblings but my head was not in the game so to speak. Anyway, the night of my dad's funeral I was attacked by three nations all of whom were considerably stronger than I. I bantered with them (well except Gribs who I am convinced now is a mute). But I bantered on, especially with Mike Malone of Malonia (who has become a cool cat to me).

Anyhow, I vent to Skippy about how I am getting my ass handed to me. I also complain to Scott as friendships, like blood, is thicker than water. Aha...but it turns out that this clusterfuck of a war sees their Alliance (Sparta) aligned against mine, The X. Scott has been hounding me to join Sparta for months but I stayed with OTS till now. But with my father passing, my heart was not into the war too much. I asked my commander, the excellent Lewenhaupt, for a leave from the X. I was going to get Naked Bob or Quatto to babysit my nation while I took some time away from the game. So I applied to Sparta. That's where it all went bad.

By this point I had made peace with Malonia but was still fighting Gribs and some other guy. Skippy sent me some aid and Joel asked that these nations leave me alone as I was a "recruit". Ah, but then Skippy, in a Quatto-worthy moment of ill-timed gallantry, decides to Spy on Gribs. Why? Not sure. Skippy is, as we all will agree, totally insane and does what the hell he wants to do.

Gribs finds this out. So Gribs either reports it to his superiors or takes note of this fact himself:

Both Nations are Doomtopias.


Someone from Gribs' alliance (ISSF I think) reports Skippy's spy attack to Sparta. The assclown from Sparta then puts Doom and Doom together and gets collusion. Now CN has a long and effective history of rooting out what are called multi's (players who have two or more nations which is banned in the game). So, without actually consulting with me or Scott or Skippy, Sparta, dumb as a bag of hammers, bans them. And....someone then reports this to CN Administrators so we all may get permanently deleted or banned from CN.

Now, you'd think that Sparta would actually, I don't know, investigate this first. I, thinking I was banned due to former ties to The X and trying to unload my nation, appeals my ban to which this rock breathing douche-nozzle called Chalky (cracker name) who says something to the tune of "You will never be a member of this alliance" blah blah. Rumor has it that Chalky and some goof named Wolverine (snicky snicky lame!) acted independently on all this, embarrassing the rest of Sparta on their own.

Terse and total douchebaggery.

So, now I am without a home and attacked by two more goons. Actually TOOLs (The Order of Light). One guys rationale is that he needs to make up some money or some shit because he got his ass handed to him by someone else. Then some other little turd TOOL joins in. So my nation is getting beaten to hell and once again I tell Scott and Skippy about the ban.

See, none of them knew they were banned yet.

So Skippy, in moment of ill timed gallantry #2, comes to fight the first TOOL thinking that not only am I a cool guy, but that I am or will soon be a fellow Spartan. But no one comes to help him. Now we start figuring out that they are banned too. Scott is in a rampage and is threatening everyone. People are pissed at ISSF because they think they were behind it. People are pissed at me because they now think that I am somehow smart enough to run three doomtopias at the same time (i'm not, hell I can't even balance my checkbook). People are pissed at Sparta because they didn't bother to actually investigate this. People are threating inter-alliance aggression. People are threating to leave. They just reacted. I can see why Scott joined them. Their government is as incompetent as the Republicans. So Scott is demanding apologies, I am apologizing to Malonia profusely, Skippy hates everybody, Sparta is without a clue as to what really went down, and everything has turned a deep shade of turd.

Ah, but then this TOOL guy DragonKnights starts a dialog with Skippy and tells him he attacked me for being LX and intimated that it was indeed he who brought the suspicions of beings Multi's to Sparta. So now, Scooby, the ISSF is in the clear and Gribs can go back to auctioneering.

But it gets better. Sparta still won't fix it's fuck up and now has rebanned scott and joel while I deal with my 8th attack in 8 days. My nation is getting pounded worse than Paris Hilton at a naval port. AND now the TOOL guys claim that the LX have a price on my head. Or so TOOL thinks.

Meanwhile, your hero is still saddled with his nation, Skippy is still fighting four guys and the pussies at Sparta aren't helping him, Scott is threatening some kind of godly armageddon to everyone responsible for his banning, Joel is silent but working behind the scenes.

All this over one application...

UPDATE (5-21)

So now there is a pissing contest between Sparta and TOOLs. Sparta claims that TOOL attacked me due to my former dealing with the X. TOOL says the X wants me ZI'd for desertion (which is odd considering I had permission to go). The culprit behind the multi's accusation still has yet to be definitively named. Sparta says it was TOOL and vice versa. Now I have to put out fires with TOOL, Sparta refuses to take any blame for this, and the X wants me dead (allegedly). I'll say this for the X, they may have had a rough start but they would never fuck anything up this badly. God damn, at this point I'll never be able to give this nation away.


Kamir said...

O/ Doomtopia

I hate to see misunderstandings like this and hopefully in the end it will all work out. Talking to Mikey you seem like a cool cat yourself. Who knows after it all works out you might even join us....

Looking forward to seeing you continue.

Kamir of Kajmirstan of the ISSF

MegatonMaynard said...

Thanks for the post Kamir. I may take you up on that.

DeathHammer said...

I hate misunderstandings as well. But this could have been avoided if sparta was not a bunch of used tampons and screwed us. If it is ok with you guys, we may ask for asylum in your alliance seeing as Sparta may ban us anyways...