Blizzard Announces Diablo III

Credit PC World:

At Blizzard's Worldwide Invitational in Paris, Blizzard officially announced the long-awaited Diablo III. We only know a few things about the game, it will be the biggest Diablo (well, as long as it's been, I would hope so) yet and the game will be fully 3D. site: Diablo III.

Info:

- Explore a fully-realized Sanctuary--the living, breathing gothic fantasy world of Diablo III rendered in gorgeous 3D.

- Battle the unholy forces of the Burning Hells with all-new character classes like the otherworldly Witch Doctor, or with re-imagined warriors from Diablo's past: such as the fierce Barbarian.

- Rain Hell on your enemies wielding the interactive environment as a weapon: lay cunning traps, turn destructible objects against your foes, and use environmental obstacles to your advantage--all powered by the Havoc physics system.

- Experience the intensity of multiplayer Diablo III over an all-new, wickedly-enhanced Battle.net platform with numerous enhancements to make connecting with your friends easier--and cooperative gameplay more fun.

Screens:

Lifted From Trixie. Squid is Well Represented Here as He Too Never Ventures Beyond His Hammock These Days

Teaser Poster from Rob Zombie's OTHER Latest Film

Some Transformers 2 News -- Read on for the Spoilers

This information about Transformers 2 comes to me from a trusted source that reveals what could be a very significant plot detail for the upcoming Transformers movie including some info on Rainn Wilson’s role, and why Sam goes nuts. Check it out… this information comes from the set of the film:

It happens that they were in the classroom scene that was being shot yesterday with Rainn Wilson. The shoot was to cover two separate days within the movie, the first day of classes for Sam, and the second day of class.

On the first day of class, Sam goes crazy just before getting to class for some reason. It seems there is some object that he was exposed to that affected him, our guess is the splinter from the cube. Anyways, Rainn Wilson asks the class to turn to the first page of the text book (which, apparently, Rainn Wilson’s character is the professor of the class AND the writer of the Astronomy text book that they are using in class). Wilson’s character’s name is Professor Colon (pronounced: koh - lawn). Everyone except Sam turns to the first page. Sam, instead, read the entire book in 5 seconds by just flipping through it, then starts telling Wilson’s character about what parts of his book are wrong. He also starts talking about how Einstein was wrong. Sam gets up from his seat and goes up to the chalk board and starts writing a lot of weird symbols on the chalk board (probably Cryptonian). Then he starts asking why nobody understands and then he leaves class. On the second day of class, he apparently returns, but acts less crazy.

The reason we suspect that it is an object he touches that makes him crazy is because there was a scene shot earlier where he was on the phone Fox’s character Mikaela, and he was asking her if she had “it” and then told her to make sure she doesn’t touch “it”. Our guess is the “splinter” (left over piece of the Allspark Cube), but it could be something else, of course.

Oh, and the last scene that was filmed on Wednesday evening was of Sam arriving to class while riding the red motorcycle that people have seen in pictures. I don’t think that proves whether or not it is a Transformer or just a motorcycle, but it could be worthwhile information in the future.

My guess is that it would be a piece of the All Spark that Sam kept after thrusting it into Megatron. That would explain why Optimus Prime thought there was nothing left of the All Spark at the end of the flick.

Haha. Graduation Sucks.

Man dressed as penis disrupts graduation

By DENNIS YUSKO, Staff writer Last updated: 5:09 p.m., Thursday, June 26, 2008

SARATOGA SPRINGS -- A 19-year-old man dressed as a penis was arrested for disturbing a high school graduation today at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center. Calvin Morett of 337 Pyramid Pine Estates allegedly interrupted the Saratoga Springs High School graduation by marching across SPAC's stage in an inflatable 6-foot penis costume while diplomas were being given out, Saratoga Springs Police Sgt. Sean Briscoe said. Morett purchased the full-body costume and sprayed parts of the 5,000 people in the crowd with Silly String, Briscoe said. His motive? ``He thought it would be funny,'' Briscoe said. Morett was ticketed for disorderly conduct, a violation, and will face the charges in City Court on Tuesday, Briscoe said. Morett graduated from Saratoga Springs High School last year. He tried to streak away from law enforcement, but could not. ``Once I stopped laughing, he was pretty easy to catch because he was tripping on the lower portion of the costume,'' said Briscoe, who made the arrest.

Teaser Poster for Rob Zombie's Latest Film

601st Post!

I really need to get out more...

Well, I Now Know What to Get Squid for Christmas

Verne Troyer sex tape surfaces...

Move over Paris Hilton. A Verne Troyer sex tape has surfaced and it features the former Mini-Me having sex with his ex-girlfriend at the couple's apartment. Sex tape dealer Kevin Blatt, the guy behind the Paris Hilton sex tape, says he has a $100,000 offer for the tape from SugarDVD.

And yes, TMZ has a clip from the tape here.

Oh My God

The Bling Gnome has made its way to the MMO PC game, Dungeon Runners, where it will follow players around eating item drops and converting them to gold which it drops out of its enchanted butt.

Part of press release, see it to believe it:

The Bling Gnome, found exclusively in the new Dungeon Runners retail pack, is a bejeweled gangster helper that will save players the tedious chore of picking up loot and taking it to a game merchant for storage or sale. Instead, the Bling Gnome has the ability to pick up most items and convert them into gold instantly in a gassy display from its rear end, no matter what game map the player is occupying.

Additionally, during a particularly flashy "swords-into-goldshares" conversion process, the Bling Gnome will produce magical droppings where players can find powerful items, along with gold. The more items a player picks up at one time, the better chance that the Bling Gnomes' miraculous buttocks will produce an uber-item.

First Dark Knight Review Has Been Posted on Aint It Cool News

Below is the first review posted for The Dark Knight. Got this from the AICN website. Spoilers are at a minimum so feel free to give it a read. If what this guy says is real, the movie and Heath Ledger's final performance deliver in a big way.

Hi Harry and the rest of the crew,

Just after watching The Dark Knight. I see no reviews are online so I
thought Id send you my review.

Ive kept this review as spoiler free as possible as I dont want to
ruin anything like someone did recently with another Christian Bale
movie!!!

Ill start by saying that I was a fan of Batman Begins and am a huge
admirer of Christopher Nolan's body of work. I had my faults with BB
mainly to do with how they shot and edited the fight sequences but
felt it was a great start to a much larger story and I jumped with joy
when Gordan pulled out the Joker card at the end.

The Dark Knight opens with a bank heist sequence that highlights how
the joker is always one step ahead of the criminals he is working with
and the police who are after him. Numerous men break into a bank
controlled by the mob wearing clown masks and comment on how The Joker
has put the whole thing together. This is the catalyst for which the
rest of the events in this movie takes place.

The heist does not go to plan well at least not for all the gang. Its
a great set up and payoff and a unique way of introducing the ace in
TDK'S whole or in this case its Joker.

Heath Ledgers performance of the joker is truly one for the books. A
man of no remorse or morals who simply wants to see things burn. There
is no back story or establishing the character. He is fully formed. He
does have some dialogue scenes that reveal a bit of his background.
Lets just say he has some issues with his father and that smile of his
is rooted in a gesture of love. He is far from a caricature and has
depth . He realises that without Batman he would not be. The Joker is
almost more of a terrorist than criminal. He is not motivated by
money. He wants to see people suffer. Its a damn shame that this was
Heath Ledger's final major performance as it shows a whole different
side to him as a performer and I now know that he was endlessly
talented. To watch him walk away from an exploding hospital dressed as
a nurse is probably my favourite moment Ive seen on film so far this
year. Also look out for when he makes a pencil disappear such a cool
moment! Best supporting Oscar anyone?

Gotham is still engulfed by crime. Falcone's reign as the head of the
mob is over and that seat has been filled by Salvatore Maroni played
by Eric Roberts. What becomes clear is that there are also numerous
other gangs within Gotham. Its no longer just one syndicate. They are
all in some way in cohoots but the arrival of Batman has made it
harder for them to operate.

Batman has inspired the city officials particularly Harvey Dent. The
DA for Gotham city. This is really his story. The rise and fall of the
white knight. He is Bruce Wayne's hope for Gotham City. A hero who
doesn't have to wear a mask. A man who can inspire hope in the masses.
If BB was about fear then TDK is about hope and is relevant in today's
times. Harvey Dent is a good honest man who is willing to bear the
weight of bringing down all the criminals on his shoulders and what
that means for his own life and those he loves. In terms of his
transition to Two Face all I will say is that everything online that
Ive seen is fake. The moment we first see him in hospital when Harvey
Dent asks Gordan what his nickname used to be in Internal Affairs and
Gordan says Harvey Two Face and Harvey turns to him . Such a clever
way of establishing the character. Even down to his double sided coin.
Lets just say Aaron Eckhart puts Tommy Lee Jones to friggin shame!

The film feels more like a crime drama in a grand city scape than a
typical comic book movie. It feels like Heat except Batman is Al
Pacino and The Joker is Robert De Niro and just like in that film we
have a great scene between Heath Ledger and Christian Bale across a
table. There is also an element of a Greek Tragedy.. There is a vast
sense of morality at play within the film.

Dent is trying to bring down the criminals and wants to bring them in
under a RICO charge. To do this he needs Batman's help as he has to
bring in the man who takes care of all their money. A glorified
accountant as Rachel Dawes puts it.Think Al Capones accountant in the
Untouchables. So Batman ventures to Hong Kong. It adds to the idea
that this is very much set in the real world and its not just Gotham
that Batman can access.

This all happens within the first third of the film. The run time is
two and a half hours. It doesn't feel that long as there is so much
going on within the film. Ive always felt Christopher Nolan was able
to handle pacing unlike many movies that are over two hours these
days. This is also his first entirely linear film and he proves
himself to be a gifted storyteller and a master of utilising film as a
visual medium. He fills each frame with so much scope and detail. You
can tell he is enjoying himself with the amount of money he is being
allowed to play with and wants to better himself and the franchise.
Although this movie doesn't feel like an instalment in a franchise.
The best thing I can think of for comparison is The Godfather Part 2.

There is no sign of the Batcave in this film. Although Alfred does
make mention of it saying how he looks forward to it being finished.
Bruce now lives in a pretty sweet penthouse apartment and his new
batcave is in an underground layer in the docks. Bruce and Lucious Fox
have been working on the suit and toys although to my surprise the
Batpod was in BB and nobody spotted it. It'll put a smile on your face
when it makes its introduction.

Christian Bale owns this role. He is Bruce Wayne and he is Batman. He
is also a third character in some regards as there are almost two
sides to Bruce Wayne. The public figure, a playboy billionaire who
knows how to spend his money and the Bruce Wayne behind closed doors
who only Alfred and Rachel get to see. A man covered in bruises and
wounds who desperately wants be free of Batman but is compelled to
make a difference as no one else can. He can play the villain to be
the hero as he does.

The second third focuses on the capturing of The Joker. The city is
living in fear as he makes threats on national television that he
always follows through with. You simple have no idea what he will do
next. There appears to be no reason to his madness although that
proves to not be the case.

I don't really want to give away anymore. I will say there is death
but not in the way some of the fan boys who have watched the trailer
are thinking. There is a prestige moment within the film that is a
true Chris Nolan moment. The scarecrow is in the film but has a very
minor role.

Just go see it on opening day in a room full of fans. Ill be doing the
same and have no doubt Ill enjoy it even more the second time round.

Enjoy.

Tim Bisley

Stacy Dash, Emma Watson, Jessica Rabbit, and Madonna's half-yeti daughter Lourdes. Is it Enough to Make the Internets Asplode?

Hello loyal readers. I must say that Maynard's little blog-o-pain has registered over a thousand hits a day several times this month. Upon consulting my mapstats, it would appear that people are largely visiting here looking for pics of babes. Now as you all know, your favorite superhero is down with the ladies. He has no problem posting a pic or two of some saucy tart now and then. But it seems that yours truly and his little crimefighting blog here has been inundated by fans of Hermione, Mrs. J. Rabbit, that 'Clueless' girl, and Madonna's little Daughter-It, the clear favorites. Thus, I provide them all here to see if their combined drawing power will cause my Internets to Asplode!

One Last George Carlin Today

The World is a Little Less Funny Now: George Carlin Dead At 71

Legendary comedian George Carlin died of heart failure at the age of 71 on Sunday. Carlin passed away at a hospital in Santa Monica, CA. Carlin had checked in to St. John's Hospital on Sunday afternoon, complaining of chest pain.

Carlin is one of the most influential comedians ever, pushing the envelop with his jokes and becoming an icon with routines such as "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV." The routine even spawned a Supreme Court ruling in 1978 to uphold the government's authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language.

Zoinks!! Kevin Smith vs. the MPAA

Zack and Miri vs. the MPAA

June 20th, 2008 by James Cook | Source: MTV (whom sucks ass)

Kevin Smith has already had one run in with the MPAA for Zack and Miri, having to take down an internet only trailer, and now it looks like he might be facing some bigger problems. It would appear that Zack and Miri Make a Porno isn’t the type of flick the MPAA wants to give an R rating too, but rather the deadly NC-17.

Seth Rogen recently revealed the potential problem to MTV.

“The MPAA is gunning for us, I think, it’s a really filthy movie. I hear they are having some problems getting an R rating from an NC-17 rating, which is never good.”

“A guy f—ing a donkey, (in Clerks 2) they ain’t got no problem with,” he continued. “But a man and a woman having sex they seem to have real issues with, for some weird reason. It’s insane. It’s completely insane.”

“They [fight against] sex stuff. Isn’t that weird? It’s really crazy to me that ‘Hostel’ is fine, with people gouging their eyes out and sh– like that,” Rogen shrugged. “But you can’t show two people having sex — that’s too much.”

I half expected this to happen, simply because of the title and the director, but Rogen makes a good point. Sex seems to be taboo with the MPAA, but hardcore violence tends to get a pass. Here’s hoping Smith doesn’t have to cut too much to appease the rating gods.

Waiting for November?

Nice Indeed

Big Success!!

Mars Phoenix Tweets: "We Have ICE!"
By Alexis Madrigal EmailJune 19, 2008 | 7:20:57 PMCategories: Mars

Dodo_020_0242_2There is water ice on Mars within reach of the Mars Phoenix Lander, NASA scientists announced Thursday.

Photographic evidence settles the debate over the nature of the white material seen in photographs sent back by the craft. As seen in lower left of this image, chunks of the ice sublimed (changed directly from solid to gas) over the course of four days, after the lander's digging exposed them.

"It must be ice," said the Phoenix Lander's lead investigator, Peter Smith. "These little clumps completely disappearing over the course of a few days, that is perfect evidence that it's ice."

The confirmation that water ice exists in the area directly surrounding the lander is big and good news for the Martian mission. NASA's stated goal for the Mars Phoenix was to find exactly this -- water ice -- and then analyze it. With the latest news, the first step is accomplished. All that's left now is to get the water into the Phoenix's instruments, a task which has occasionally proven more difficult than anticipated.

Still, this is the best opportunity that humanity has ever had to analyze extraterrestrial water in any form. That had the Phoenix Lander's persona fired up.

"Are you ready to celebrate? Well, get ready: We have ICE!!!!! Yes, ICE, *WATER ICE* on Mars! w00t!!! Best day ever!!" the Mars Phoenix Lander tweeted at about 5:15 pm.

Their suspicions about water ice beneath the surface of Mars confirmed, scientists and the world will have renewed interest in the outcome of the soil analyses currently being conducted by the lander.

The samples are being examined for traces of organic molecules, among other substances, but the lander does not have instruments that could directly detect life.

See the full announcement from NASA.

15 Years of Comedy Gold

How Did Def Lepard NOT Make This List?

14 songs you should never play at a bar … or should you?

By accessAtlanta | Thursday, June 19, 2008, 10:39 AM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

The Web site Holy Taco has compiled its list of the 14 songs you should never play at a bar. Some get a collective nod, and others, well, Georgians likely will take issue with a couple picks.

And the big winners (or losers) are:

14. “All I Wanna Do,” Sheryl Crow
13. “Mr. Brightside,” The Killers
12. “It’s the End of the World as We Know It,” R.E.M.
11. “Dancing Queen,” ABBA
10. “Sweet Home Alabama,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
9. “Don’t Stop Believing,” Journey
8. “Smooth,” Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas
7. “Hotel California,” The Eagles
6. “I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor
5. “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” Meatloaf
4. “Bawidaba,” Kid Rock
3. Anything by the Beatles
2. “Piano Man,” Billy Joel
1. “American Pie,” Don McLean

Holy Taco gave its reasons for each selection, which you can read here. They might not be suitable for anyone who couldn’t legally drink.

So what do you agree with the list? Which songs would you add? Which ones would you remove? What is your top 10?

credit: access atlanta

Goth-Tastic

Will Smith + Hancock + Billboard Malfunction = FULL OF WIN!

Check-Check It

Hey Peeps. MegatonMaynard here. I'd like to remind all my loyal readers to check out the sketchanity at Sketch-o-the-day.

Go HERE

Vader's Catholic? That Explains a Lot.

Lesbian Batwoman? Coach is Sooooo There.

Bat Fans Get a Peek at DC Comics' Revamped Batwoman

By Jenna Wortham June 16, 2008 | 9:05:00 AMCategories: Art, Comics, Sci-Fi

The first panels from DC Comics' latest addition to its superhero universe give Bat fans a glimpse at Batwoman's not-so-secret identity: a lesbian.

DC recently redesigned Batman's former love interest as gay -- a move that sparked outrage among the comic book community when it was first announced in 2006.

Todd Klein, who is inking the script for the miniseries, posted the panels (right) on his blog along with a short note:

"Written by Greg Rucka with stunning art by J.H. Williams III, this miniseries is moving slowly, but I’ve lettered the first issue, and it looks and reads very well indeed."

This marks Batwoman's first major comic book return since 1979, after a brief stint last year in DC's weekly series 52.

Why You Too Can Vote Republican

Belkin Wireless G Plus Router

Here is my first ever post about dealing with IT stuff. Andrew will be proud.

So my old router crapped out on me. The douche-nozzle at Best Buy talked me into buying the above router. I only have my XBox 360 and my desktop Dell plugged into it. However, ever since I got it, I could not download files or play videos. I thought it was a Flashplayer issue but I did my Net research and saw others who have the Belkin router had similar issues. So I called tecj support, talked to some guy named "Jerry" from Bangalore, India. Turns out the Belkin has a firewall that limited streaming video and downloads. So, after five minutes work, I was able to disable the firewall and things seem pretty serviceable ever since. Those who experience similar problems should use their installation disk to access the router menu to do this.

Happy Father's Day

I dedicate this to my Dad who taught me how to play 'catch'. I love you and miss you very much.

And The Worst Movie Adaptation of a TV Show Is...

1. "Bewitched"

This also comes from the South Florida Metromix site. I, for one, vehemently protest entry number ten. Check out the list HERE.

Although Nicole Kidman is the perennially perfect choice to play a witch, it’s curious how the makers of the “Bewitched” movie decided to cast some disappearing spells of their own. Billed more as an “homage” to the wacky supernatural series which ran from 1964 to 1972, the 2005 remake fails on almost every level.

Gone is any chemistry between the Kidman and Will Ferrell, who spends most of the film looking baffled and out of place. Gone is the name Samantha Stephens; instead, Kidman plays a character named Isobel Bigelow. And gone is Samantha’s fantastical mother, Endora (played to the winking hilt by Agnes Moorehead). In her place is Michael Caine. In short: "Bewitched" be-sucks.

And the Number One Stoner Character on Television Today Is...

Dr. Gregory House, ‘House’

Color Maynard Shocked! I, for one, was convinced it would be Bill O'Reilly as he has checked out of reality years ago. Anyway, this comes from Metromix South Florida's web site. The byline for House is below. The LINK to the whole story can be found HERE

Nowhere else on television will you find a more whimsical portrayal of addiction than on "House." In a recent Fox promo for the series, clips of the good doctor (played to perfection by Hugh Laurie) popping his beloved painkillers like Skittles ran while Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab” played in the background.

Maybe no one would visit a drugged-up doctor in real life, but would we take House any other way? No, no, no.

Police Nab Three for Copper Thefts

By Eric Connor • STAFF WRITER • June 9, 2008

Two men and a woman are in jail today after police say they caught them using a U-Haul truck to steal as much as $25,000 of copper wire from a Verdae Boulevard construction site.

Jon Krisner Manson, 32, and Christopher Lee Jackson, 39, who both live in room 255 of America's Best Value Lodge, and Patryce Eboni Ryland, 27, who lives in room 257, are charged with unlawful purchase or transport of copper, according to a Greenville Police incident report and jail records.

Manson walked to room 255 and the officer stopped Jackson as he walked the stairs, the report states. Jackson was sweating profusely and told the officer he was "just walking by" the U-Haul truck and was sweating so much "because it was so hot outside," the report states.

Jackson told the officer that he lived in room 257 with his girlfriend and her two children, Pickles and Toy Toy, according to the report. Jackson couldn't give the woman's last name, telling the officer that he had not known her for long, the report states.

Stewie Gets Pixeloo'd

I Love my Pool

Skippy Will Not Be Joining Us This Weekend. He's Having Some Work Done.

Buttsecks Bear

What the Fu...?

Ohio's Smoking Ban Has Some Teeth

Ohio's smoking ban applies to private clubs, high court rules

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 12:06 PM

By James Nash

THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH

Veterans' halls and other members-only clubs will be no-smoking zones despite Gov. Ted Strickland's quest to exempt them from the statewide smoking ban.

The Ohio Supreme Court extinguished the clubs' last legal case to get out from under the law that bans smoking at restaurants, bars and nearly all other public buildings.

Without comment today, the state's highest court let stand rulings from the Franklin County Common Pleas Court and Court of Appeals that applied the smoking ban to private clubs because their employees would be exposed to secondhand smoke.

The court's 4-3 decision left some clubs gasping for air.

"This is not good for any of us," said William Seagraves, executive director of the VFW of Ohio Charities. "Our clubs' business is down 30percent this year. We're down 5,000 members in Ohio. We're looking forward to an increase in the amount of money we get from charitable gaming. If we fail on both, we're in big trouble."

Strickland had sought to make Ohio's 1,500 private clubs sanctuaries for smokers. He contends that the 2006 measure approved by more than 58 percent of voters specifically exempted members-only clubs from the ban.

In fact, the 2006 law does contain an exception for private clubs, provided that they have no employees.

Judge David E. Cain of Franklin County Common Pleas Court ruled in May 2007 that there's no such thing as a private club without employees because even volunteer employees count. In a 3-0 decision in December, the Franklin County Court of Appeals backed his position.

Strickland's position is at odds with the purpose of the statewide smoking ban, "that it is in the best interest of public health that smoking be prohibited in public places and ‘ places of employment,'" the appeals court ruled.

The Ohio Licensed Beverage Association, a trade group of alcohol-vending establishments, brought the case challenging the exemption for private clubs.

Although the association opposed the smoking ban, it contended that carving out private clubs would be contrary to its purpose.

And the Winner Is...

A Tie!

Yes, my loyal readers have spoken (from experience no doubt) and are in agreement that when it comes to the shits, both the beer variety and the fast food variety are the best...or the worst if you will.

Map Stats from Blog Flux are Down

From Blogflux:

The server company went down - including the back-up. It has been a major problem and taken out several major sites. Slashdot reported on it quoting:

"Customers hosting with ThePlanet, a major Texas hosting provider, are going through some tough times. Yesterday evening at 5:45 pm local time an electrical short caused a fire and explosion in the power room, knocking out walls and taking the entire facility offline. No one was hurt and no servers were damaged. Estimates suggest 9,000 servers are offline, affecting 7,500 customers, with ETAs for repair of at least 24 hours from onset. While they claim redundant power, because of the nature of the problem they had to go completely dark. This goes to show that no matter how much planning you do, Murphy's Law still applies."

http://tech.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/06/01/1715247

As soon as they get their system back up everything will be back to normal.

Eight Ways Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull Could Have Been Better

So I saw Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull movie this week. I place it 4th in the overall Indiana Jones filmography, well behind Temple of Doom. It's not to say that the movie is unwatchable, but Indy IV has a major flaw in going "over the top". Granted, all the previous films had a touch of that but Indy IV sometimes has too much disbelief to suspend. Thus, I offer my eight ways in which Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull could have been improved, making a fun movie into a great movie. There nay be some minor spoilers below so if you have yet to see the movie, STOP READING NOW.

1) Like BOC needed more cowbell, this movie needed more bullwhip.

Indy's trademark is the bullwhip. We have seen it used with great skill and precision in all three previous movies. Here we get only one real use of the bullwhip and the obligatory "rescue a dumbass who doesn't deserve it" use (like the hot Nazi chick in Last Crusade).

2) Let Indy shoot his gun.

Again, Indy is not above shooting the occasional douchebag who deserves it. The now legendary ad-lib of him shooting the swordsman in Raiders really helped to define his character. Not having Indiana shoot his gun at least once in a film is akin to having a Superman movie where Superman never throws a punch. Oh wait...we did see that in Superman Returns.

3) Drop the Nuclear Blast.

I can live with the idea of Indiana Jones stumbling into a nuclear test site. I can buy him realizing what this place is and his panic at thinking he is going to be incinerated. I can even buy his quick thinking in stuffing himself into a lead lined refrigerator to protect himself from the blast. But, when the town is annihilated and he skips away clean as the fridge is launched some 10 miles or so from the ground zero is too much to buy into. Not only should he have been incinerated, at the very least he should have been killed by the radiation or made into a pulpy goo in the aftermath of the blast. I think it would have been much funnier if the bomb test had been a DUD. His luck holds and Indy lives to fight another day.

4) Let Marian Ravenwood drink.

Now I know she's older and maternal and all in this film, but part of Marian's charm was her hard drinking. She and Jones should have shared at least one drink as an homage to her from Raiders.

5) Kill off Mack.

Mack is this annoying Aussie/Brit or whatever who betrays Jones three times in the film. Indiana Jones tries to find a redeeming quality in him to the bitter end much like the hot Nazi chick in Crusade. But it seems all this guy had as far as dialog was a variety of "JONES!!" or JONESIE!!!" lines delivered in a variety of sub-accents and growls. Like Wu Han who died right off the bat in Doom, they should have kept Mack as a Patriot and had the KGB murder him at the start of the film.

6) Dump the Natives.

Two places in this film Indiana runs afoul of some kung-fu Mayans or something. He dispatches the first group of three who were living at an excavation site. Yes....living secretly at an excavation site. How were they not already dead? The second group lives inside the hidden temple. Now I can buy into the lost tribe of the Amazon angle but they were only a distraction. I think it would have been far cooler to run across them in the jungle like the natives he came across in Raiders. That's more plausible than lunatics living in sealed chambers in the temple.

7) Ditch the Tarzan Reference.

Later in the film, Shia's character standing on top of a movie vehicle in the jungle when he runs into some jungle vines and is carried into the trees. There he goes all Buster Crabbe and starts swinging from vine to vine like Pitfall Harry and is able to catch up to the vehicles that left him behind. Should have been cut altogether.

8) Scaling the Bottomless Pit.

As is the case in all Indy films, the filmmaker does a great job building old tombs full of cool traps and stuff, like the giant rock in Raiders or the wall of spikes in Doom. This one sees the stairs leading down what looks to be at least 100 yards or more into a spiked well vanish into the walls. Indy and his team barely make it down when they completely engage into the walls. Some time later the KGB shows up and somehow makes it down the hole in record time with no ropes in sight.

Fallout 3 is Coming...

Still Playing...