Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ya Know What Really Grinds My Gears?


The Chonas Brothers


Sorry. Jonas Brothers.


I have really no idea who the hell these kids are but I know I don't like em. Granted, they do play their own instruments (allegedly) which qualifies them a slightly more talented then hiphop artists, but to compare them (as I have heard done) to the Beatles is an insult (even to Ringo).


What's more, I would never have thought that three ambiguously NAMBLA-licious amish boys could make such a big splash in the music scene. The fact these three mouth-breathers graced the cover of Rolling Stone tells me that either the Chonas Brothers are for real or that the standards at Rolling Stone are falling. I'd guess the latter.


Then we see how MTV(sucks ass) is basically giving us all a stroke job that even Morty would have to appreciate in forcing these three knobs down our pop culture throats. This is ironic in that:


1) MTV stopped being relevant after Kurt Cobain died

2) MTV, which allegedly stands for Music Television, is a lifestyle and reality network devoid of music.

3) MTV is splooging all over themselves by heaping VMA nominations on these douchewhistles.


I think most of us who display a moderate sense of "with-itness" and intellect would agree that VMA nominations for just about every category short of best rock act and best cock-gobbling salad tosser (ahem, best new artist) is a testament to suck.

BUT...perhaps I am being a little too overzealous. After all, the Chonas Brothers are just three little amish boys lured by Disney money and morphed into yet another mediocre pop act that has stardom and fame thrust upon them (or into them...repeatedly....like Madonna's vajayjay).


So good luck Chonas Brothers, and smile big for the camera.


"Penis Goes Where?"

3 comments:

Andy Donaldson said...

Sure, make fun of them now my friend. But soon, their faces, or ones very similar to these, will be on the bedroom walls of your daughter....as they have been on mine.

Shannon said...

I just took three very squealie girls to their concert last night and I have to say - they were very good, they were wholesome and they were adorable. Their music isn't very sophisticated but then again, they ARE playing to their peer group and they have good handlers that aren't er.. letting them get too out of hand I'm sure. They are also very good showmen. They gave the crowd what they wanted.. pyrotechnics, video and laser effects and all of their best songs. Try listening to The Year 3000 or Love Bug. You'll like these boys.. but they are definitely not The Beatles or even the equivalent in anything but popularity with teenagers and their shriekability.

William said...

I'd like to find who first compared these butt pirates to the Beatles and personally knee-cap them with a pipe wrench. This summer, I had to on occasion endure hour after torturous hour of Miley Cyrus and her equally as annoying "alternate personality" Hanna Montanna because of my 10 year old niece. For the love of God, this music WILL rot your brain. I personally think that Billy Ray should be castrated for the survival of human sanity. The Chonas Brothers are now the Beatles????????? Come on, MTV....they need to get back to what that network does best, getting omitted from the scan channel feature on my remote.

-Corky